When I was on my mission and the months went by, friends got busy and wrote less and less. But there was one person who never missed a week: my mom!! Of course, that made me feel seen – knowing that back home they were always thinking of me. So today, having been on the other side, I want to share some tips for how you can write to your missionary to make them feel special.
Ask Specific Questions
First, missionaries love specific questions. Yes, I know, it sounds obvious, but the typical “how’s everything going?” is so general that we don’t even know where to start. Many of us had interviews with our presidents that were quick and generic: “How’s everything? How’s your companion? How’s your area? Great, good luck, you can do it!”. And honestly, we don’t want that from our family too.
We love it when you pay attention to our emails and ask about the things we said in them. When we mention someone and our family already knows who they are, we feel heard. Questions like “how did the lesson go with the family you met on Tuesday?” or “is your companion feeling better?” are the best.
Also, something a lot of families skip: answer the questions your missionary asked last week. So many families never answer them! A simple trick: before you write, reread your missionary’s last email and write down their questions. It takes two minutes and makes it a real conversation, one that is actually read and answered.
Healthy Dose of Home
Second, it’s good to share things from home, but in healthy doses. In my experience, when they told me EVERY little detail about events, it gave me a lot of FOMO and made me wish I was there. I loved my family’s long stories, but not when they described too much of what I was missing out on.
Sharing a nice moment so your missionary feels included is not the same as telling them every detail of what happened without them. One brings them closer to home, the other reminds them how far away they are. What always works, and I say this from experience: funny everyday stories, family photos, and keeping the inside jokes alive.
Get Personal
And last, my favorite part: share personal experiences. I have many emails saved from my parents, who used every message to share their feelings and spiritual experiences. They weren’t long or fancy messages. Just the opposite: short but direct.
What made them sooo powerful was the context: they told me what they had gone through (on their missions or in their lives), how they applied a scripture in that situation, and how it helped them in that moment. I loved reading them, and they strengthened me way more than I ever imagined before my mission. So much that on my mission I would print them and keep them in my scriptures.
Today, years later, I still run into them when I read, and they take me right back to those moments. So here’s my invitation: don’t underestimate the power of your own experiences. You don’t need to write a lot. Just a few lines about how the Lord helped you that week, or in a specific moment of your life, is enough. For your missionary, that simple testimony might be the email they keep forever.
Think we’re missing something? Comment your ideas to make missionaries feel special:)